穿上海青，像不像有修行的樣子？
聖城的荷花。
【小記】來聖城的人，都有各自的因緣，也有各自的體會。大殿晚上有講法的時間，每個人都有機會上台，我也上台分享個人的學佛因緣，以及來聖城的機緣。以下即是我的分享內容。英文部分由法師負責。
我的法緣 ( My Dharma Conditions)
我叫康逸藍，來自台灣的淡水。目前是聖城的義工，現在將我的法緣分兩部分來與大家分享：
My name is Yi-lan Kang, coming from Tamsui (fresh water), Taiwan . I am currently a volunteer at the CTTB. Now I would like to share my dharma conditions with the great assembly, in two sections:
第一要分享的是我的學佛因緣。我接觸佛法是在大學一年級的時候，我參加學校的佛學社（師大中道社），開始從佛學的名相學起，有時也跟著學長們到道場去參加修學營。不過我並不是很精進，後來參加一些社團，開始過所謂多采多姿的大學生活。畢業後，忙著工作、結婚、生孩子，雖然總是以學佛的人自居，態度上卻一直很消極，往往是有哪個熱心的朋友一再邀約，才會去參加法會。
Firstly, I would like to share with you my causes and conditions for learning Buddhism. I touched Buddhism during my first year in college. I participated in the Buddhism Association (the Middle Way Association of the National Taiwan Normal University ) and started from learning the terminologies of Buddhism. Sometimes I joined retreats following with the seniors, but not very vigorously. Later on, I also participated in some other associations, began to experience a variety of university life. After graduation, I was busy with works, got married, and had a child. Even though I always claimed to be a Buddhist, my attitude was very negative, and only took part in dharma assemblies by enthusiastic friends’ repeatedly invitations.
近年來因為電視弘法頻道多，我就以電視為學佛的管道。總歸一句話，我對佛法是「不即不離」。
In recent years, there are many dharma propagations broadcasted in TV channels, then those channels became the means for me to study the Buddhism. Summary speaking, my attitude with regard to the Buddha dharma is that I neither accept nor reject it.
第二要分享的是我和聖城的因緣。1995年，我先生到南非讀書，我們在南非住了將近一年，我的女兒在南非受教育，我感覺西方的教育方式比較活潑，就希望女兒有機會在國外受教育。很巧的，有人告訴我們聖城有中小學，也需要義務老師，於是我們母女倆就到聖城來。不過那一年，我以教書為主，並沒有讓自己在學佛上有何長進，就是「入寶山而不知身在寶山中」。半年簽證的期限到，我們就回台灣了。
The second thing that I would like to share with you is my causes and conditions with the sagely city. In 1995, my husband went to study in South Africa, me and our daughter went there too and whole family stayed together for 1 year. Our daughter went into an English primary school and received education there. Since I felt that Western education was more active indeed, therefore I hoped that my daughter could have the opportunity to study abroad. Coincidentally, we were told that the sagely city had both primary and secondary schools, and needed volunteer teachers too. Therefore me and my daughter came to the sagely city together after my husband finished his study in South Africa. But I was mainly teaching during that year and did not make myself progressed in studying Buddhism. That was "I came to the jewel mountain, but did not know that I was at the jeweled mountain." After our six months’ visa expired, we went back to Taiwan eventually.
日子不知不覺溜過，很快的，十多年像輕煙一般飄逝。去年，我過五十歲生日，想到孔老夫子說的：「五十而知天命。」覺得是該收心好好修行的時機了，這幾年來當個無業遊民，卻比上班族的還忙。因為台灣的社團多，我們這種「閒閒沒代誌」的人，往往無術不學，什麼都參一腳，生活搞得很熱鬧，卻又覺得不究竟。
Time passes imperceptibly, more than a decade flew away rapidly like smoke. Last year, I marked my 50th birthday. I was thinking about what Confucius said: "at the age of 50, I know heaven’s decree." I thought it will be a good time for me to practice. During past few years, I’d been unemployed but even busier than working people. Since there are many associations and organizations in Taiwan, those who have nothing to do can often learn more useful skills. Those kind people take part in everything. leading a very busy life, but finally satisfied with nothing.
剛好，我的女兒八月來美國讀書，我就想也找個地方好好修行，這個地方還必須讓別人不方便找到我。於是我上網東看西看，竟然我就上了聖城的網站，上面說2009年有三十週年慶，法會特別多，需要大量義工，我就偷偷以e-mail 聯絡，等聯絡好才告知親友，親友一陣嘩然，覺得我頭殼壞去，怎麼會跑那麼遠去修行？我想一趟車兩趟車就能回到家的地方，對我這種根器差，又多年在紅塵浮浮沉沉的人，肯定是不好修行，要嘛就走遠一點。反正也不知是什麼力量，讓我堅持下來。
Coincidentally, my daughter came to study in the United States in August. then I also started to plan to find a good place to cultivate myself. Such a place must be inconvenient for others to find me. So after checking randomly on the Internet, I came across the sagely city’s website. It stated that for the 30th anniversary celebration in 2009, there would be many dharma assemblies and that they would particularly need a large number of volunteers. Then I contacted the CTTB via e-mail without informing friends and relatives until all the arrangements were made. They were all surprised by my decision (seething with indignation) and felt that I must be insane, and questioned that why should I go so far away to cultivate myself? But I felt that a place that is just one or two bus stations far away from home would not work for me, for I am of such poor and inferior faculties, and have been drifting along in the mundane world for many years. I might as well travel further. Anyway, there was some kind of unknown force made me persevere.
不過，當我把手續辦好，機票也訂好，準備今年元月份來的時候，我母親卻生病，那是去年的十一月二十一日。她這一病病得不輕，很快轉入加護病房，開始了我們大家都很煎熬的日子。我告訴聖城的Linh我母親生病的事，Linh跟我說趕緊幫我母親誦《地藏經》，不精進的我開始誠心誦《地藏經》。我母親已經八十九歲，原本滿健康獨立的，前一年不小心跌了一跤，我的哥哥他們不放心她自己住，就輪流在兩個哥哥家住，她心裡不高興，所以健康急遽惡化，而我因為忙於外務，也忽略了她。懷著愧疚的心，我天天去醫院看她。她一再表示自己好不了，希望能回家。我看她的病情也真的很難完全康復，想到她以前表示過自己活夠本了，不怕死。看她那麼痛苦，實在不忍心。但是醫生一旦插了管，是不會隨便拔掉，除非狀況好到可以拔管。
Unfortunately, after the arrangements made, the airplane ticket booked, and prepared to come in this January, my mother fell severe sick in last November 21st and was transferred to the intensive care ward in a short time, then our torment days began. I told Linh（she lives in CTTB） about my mother’s sickness, Linh instantly told me to recite the Earth Store sutra for my mother. Though I had not been vigorous, I began to recite the Earth Store sutra sincerely. My mother was already 89 years old. Until then, she had been quite healthy and very independent. My brothers would not let her live by herself, so she lived with my brothers alternately. She was unhappy and her health deteriorated rapidly. I had neglected her since I was busy with outside affairs. With heart-felt guilt, I visited her at the hospital everyday. She repeatedly said she would not get well and wished to return home. Sensing that it would be really hard for her to fully recover from her illness, she said that she had lived enough and did not fear death. I did not have the heart to see her suffer. However, once the doctors insert a tube into her body, they will not pull it out easily unless the situation has improved.
每次去醫院，我母親都用很痛苦又乞求的眼神看著我，好像是說我一向最支持她，這次卻把她留在醫院受苦？我就跟她講白了，說如果她想要在家好好過去，一定要先好到可以拔管。她點點頭。說來也神奇，開始為我母親誦《地藏經》後，她的身體狀況一天好過一天，連醫生都很驚訝。終於醫生為她拔管了，後來出院回家，幾天後安詳往生。
Every time when I went to the hospital, my mother was always looking at me with painful and begging eyes as if saying that since I always supported her in the past but why I left her to suffer in the hospital this time? I told her frankly that if she wanted to return home and pass away peacefully, she must be recovered enough for pulling out the tubes. She nodded. Now this may sound miraculous, but after I began reciting the Earth Store sutra for my mother, her physical condition improved day after day. Even the doctors were very surprised. Finally the doctor pulled out all the tubes. Subsequently she was discharged and returned home. Then passed away few days later.
還有一點神奇的是，我母親生前不了解佛法，也不相信佛法，還反對我吃素。結果她過世後反而透過我一位通靈的親戚，表達她想要以佛教儀式辦理後事。可惜那個親戚來晚了，我大哥已經與道士講好，且已經做了一次法事。不過，我們採取折衷方式，佛與道輪著做，因為我們要做好幾次法事。那個親戚說我母親表示，我唸經對她幫忙很大，讓她少受了很多苦。
Another miracle is that my mother did not understand the Buddha dharma when she was alive. She was also against me being a vegetarian and abstaining from eating meat. After she passed away, she informed me through a relative who possesses psychic powers that she wanted me to hold a Buddhist ceremony for her funeral. Unfortunately, that relative came late, and my elder brother had engaged Taoists and had performed the first funeral service. However, we came to a compromise, so we performed Buddhist and Taoist ceremonies in turn, since we had to do several ceremonies. That relative told me that my mother had mentioned that my recitation had greatly helped her, and she had less suffered because of it.
我大哥家住三芝，那是一個冬天非常愛下雨的地方，幸運的是每到我母親做法事那一天，天氣一定放晴，即使是前一天半夜還下著雨。告別式那一天，遺體要到基隆火化，基隆號稱雨港，冬天難得不下雨，告別式前一天寒流來，天寒地凍，到告別式當天，卻出現大太陽。我在車上閉目中養神時，眼前似乎先出現一條龍，接著是美麗的鳳台龍閣，我想我母親應該去到不錯的地方了。
My elder brother lives in Sanzhi. And it rains a lot there in the winter. Fortunately, every time the ceremonies held for my mother, the sky would clear up, even though it had been raining hardly the night before. On the day of her final funeral ceremony, her remains were be sent to Keelung for cremation. Keelung is known as the rainy harbor and it is rare not to rain in the winter. There was a cold current just the day before the funeral ceremony, it was extremely cold. But on the day of the funeral ceremony, the sky turned out to be sunny. As I closed my eyes and rested in the car, a dragon seemed to appear before me, followed by magnificent pavilions. I thought my mother must have gone to a very good place.
由於在我母親病重時，我誦經幫了她，而她往生後對佛法的渴求卻也幫了我，讓我更堅信要找個好地方修行的決心。這時親友們也比較能了解我千里迢迢去修行的想法了。我就在四月來到聖城，而且我母親相當有福報，竟然碰到難得的幽冥戒。說來慚愧，我不懂幽冥戒的重大意義，原本並沒有要幫她受，就在報名那兩天，我似乎感覺她來找我，等別人提醒我她應該是想受戒時，我才幫她報名，報名後我又感應到她好像很雀躍。
So, my recitation helped my mother when she was seriously ill. After her passed, her request for the Buddha dharma also helped me. I firmly resolved to find a good place to cultivate. Relatives and friends by now could understand better why I had to go far away to cultivate. I came to the sagely city in April, and my mother had sufficient blessings to encounter the rare transmission of precepts for the deceased. I am ashamed to say that I did not understand the significance of the precepts for the deceased. I did not intend to help her receive the precepts. But two days before the application deadline, I seemed to feel her presence. When someone reminded me that she wanted to receive the precepts, I sent in the application. After the registration, I felt that she was very happy.
至於我個人，來聖城之前，我先生偷偷告訴我女兒，說我不到三個月就會打包回家了。因為他認為我平常四體不勤，吃不了苦；加上自由自在慣了，哪能忍手僧團有規律的生活方式。平常睡覺睡到自然醒，一天中除了三餐，更是上午茶、下午茶配小點心，天天還要逗弄家中的貓貓狗狗，電腦、電視也都是生活必需品，所以他料定我待不了多久。我自己也沒多大信心，但不試試看不甘心。沒想到我整體來講適應得很好，身體上一開始稍有落差，如果起來做早課，當天就會迷迷糊糊的，一直打哈欠；勞務工作也有點累，容易腰痠背痛，不過這更令我覺得要多磨練，吃苦才能了苦嘛！值得慶幸的是我的心情非常好，吃得飽、睡得好，道心增長迅速，一得空就看上人開示或誦經，不會想看電視，且電腦使用不便，很必要才去借用一下。生活單純到令人時時在法喜的氛圍中，我跟我先生說：心安處即是家，我已經破解了「不到三個月就會打包回家」的魔咒。
As for me, before I came to the sagely city, my fellow cultivator (spouse) told my daughter secretly that I might pack up and go home in less than three months. Why he thought so because I did not normally do much exercise and could not endure bitterness. On top of that, I am used to being very carefree. How could I bear the disciplined way of life of a Sanghan? I used to wake up from my sleep naturally. In addition to eating three meals a day, I would take morning tea, and afternoon tea with some snacks. Everyday I would also have fun with our pet cats and dogs. Computers and television are the necessities of my life. So he assured that I would not stay very long. I didn’t have much confidence either, but I would not give up without any try. I did not expect that on the whole I would adapt very well. In the very beginning, there was a slight lag. If I came for morning recitation, I would be drowsy and would constantly yawn. Physical work is somewhat tiring for me. My back gets sore easily. This reminded me that I needed to train harder. To endure suffering is to end suffering! Fortunately, I am in very a good mood. I eat and sleep well and my body mind has grown rapidly. Whenever I am free, I read the Venerable Master’s instructional talks or recite the sutras. I do not think of watching television. It is inconvenient to use a computer here, and when it is necessary, I borrow one. Life is so simple that I am always filled with dharma bliss. I told my spouse: “Home is just peace of mind.” I have broken the evil curse of "packing up and going home in less than three months."
聖城的確是寶山， 我想我這一次不會再空手而回了。雖然無緣親炙上人的教誨，但走在聖城，我感覺每一吋土地，或是一草一木，都有上人的精神在。
我由衷感謝僧團給我這個機會，我會繼續挖寶。
謝謝大家！
The sagely city is indeed a jewel mountain. I don’t think I will return home empty-handed this time. Although I missed the teachings of the Master in person, walking around the sagely city, I feel that every square inch of land and all the vegetation have the spirit of the Master.
I must thank the Sanghan community for giving me this opportunity. I will continue my treasure hunt.
Thank you!
